Sasori's New Puppet
by Midnight's Shining Star
Summary: ONESHOT Sasori and Deidara are on a mission to capture the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki but Sasori's been acting kind of funny. What is he up to? Teen for mild swearing.


**A/N: My first posted fanfic, yay! Yeah, lots of OOCness and messed up timeline and stuff :P Hopefully it's entertaining! Enjoy!**

**Deidara says I don't own Naruto or Akatsuki.  
**

* * *

Sasori's New Puppet

_Crack_

Sasori stopped moving and turned to face his blonde partner. "Shh!" He hissed "stop making so much noise brat!" "Sorry danna, un" the other responded. Sasori just nodded slightly and the two S-class shinobi continued on.

"Sasori no danna?"

"What?"

"Why are we going to Konoha this way, un? I mean, we kinda just went around the village and…"

"Because" Sasori interrupted "the front gate is probably heavily guarded so it will be easier to sneak in this way."

"But if we attack the front gate the Kyuubi Kid will probably just come running out. And that would make our job easier, un."

"I don't think it will work out. And besides, I heard the Jinchuuriki lives back this way anyways."

"Oh, un" Deidara wasn't sure he understood entirely, after all it seemed any way they tried to get into Konoha would be difficult and they also could just as easily get to the Jinchuuriki's place from the front, but his danna must have a good reason for going this way so he accepted it.

Sasori sighed inwardly. The truth was, there was no real advantage for the two nins to be going that way at all. The real reason why Sasori wanted to go this way was because the Konoha cemetery was closer to this entrance. And there was a certain corpse that Sasori really wanted to turn into his latest work of art. But he couldn't tell Deidara that. For one thing, the brat would probably just start talking about how stupid the whole idea was and how art was fleeting and all that crap. Then he would probably complain about how it would just be so much easier if they took the front gate. Sasori shook his head. No, he would not tell Deidara. Not yet anyways.

* * *

Finally, the two Akatsuki made it to the entrance.

"We'll camp here for now" Sasori announced.

"Why here, un?" The blonde artist countered. "It's pretty close to the cemetery, un."

"Scared of ghosts?" Sasori asked his face serious but his voice _almost_ had an undertone of teasing in it.

"NO! Un!" Deidara retorted. "It just seems kinda weird to be camping here and all…I mean, aren't we supposed to grab the Kyuubi and go, un?"

The puppet master was silent for a moment as he searched for an answer but just as he was about to respond his partner added: "And what is the shovel for? Are we grave robbing or something, un?"

Sasori suppressed a look of shock. _Damnit, he's on to me. I should have hid the shovel better…_

"Well," he began "we've been travelling all day; I think it would be best if we stopped and took a rest for the time being. One night isn't going to hurt us. And you never know when you could use a shovel." The redhead snapped.

Deidara just stared at Sasori. His danna was certainly acting strange today. Finally he replied with a "Hn," gave a slight nod, and went to go set up camp.

_Well, he seems to have bought it for now at least. Hopefully he won't ask any more questions. Now…just how am I going to go about this anyways? I didn't think it through very well I suppose…_

Sasori sniffed. He could always wait until the brat fell asleep and hope that the kid wouldn't wake up until he got back. He didn't know how long it would take but he assumed finding the grave of a shinobi of such high standard wouldn't be hard at all. At least, that's what he thought. Little did the puppet master know that things wouldn't be so simple.

* * *

Finally, _finally,_ the brat fell asleep. _It took him long enough. Stupid kid, I'll have to be quick about this. Now…to begin. _Sasori looked around the cemetery for a grave marking that stood out but he could find no such thing. Sighing, he bent down to examine one of the headstones. _Guess I'll just have to check them all this way. It's a pain but it shouldn't be that difficult…_ But when Sasori further examined the grave, he realized it didn't have any markings! They must have gotten worn away or something… He went to the next grave and realized the same thing! In fact, none of the graves had markings or, legible ones at least. The redheaded Akatsuki member let out an exasperated sigh. _How the hell am I supposed the find the Yondaime Hokage now?_ Sasori felt defeated. He had really been hoping to be able to add another super strong puppet to his collection. _Well, that's it then. I'm just going to have to start digging._ And he did. But just as he was about to start turning some soil he felt another chakra presence close by and immediately stopped what he was doing. He tried to mask his own chakra but it was too late. The other nin had already sensed Sasori's presence.

"Who's there?"

It sounded like… _No,_ Sasori shook his head _why would he…_

"I said who's there?"

"Kakuzu?" The puppet master asked incredulously.

"Sasori?" Came the answer "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing"

"I came to get the corpse of that Asuma guy Hidan defeated earlier. He had 35 million ryo on his head and I'm not letting an opportunity like that pass me by."

"Oh…well, I'll help you then" Sasori said suddenly hoping this would take Kakuzu's mind off what the redhead had been doing earlier.

"Whatever. Just don't ruin my bounty." The other Akatsuki member responded. Sasori nodded and the two started digging where Sasori had already started earlier. The first thing they uncovered was Hidan's head!

"F### yeah! I knew you guys would finally come to get me the f### out of here! No just hurry you're a#### along will ya?"

"Hi-Hidan?" Sasori gasped "You're dead!"

"I'm immortal you f###### s###! Now hurry up and get me the f### outta here!"

Sasori stared in shock at Hidan and then glanced back at Kakuzu who seemed equally surprised and slightly amused that they had actually found Hidan instead of what they were looking for.

"What are you two a##### doing? Get me the f### outta here already!"

"Uh, sorry Hidan" Sasori said "but, uh, there's an earthquake starting here so we're just going to have to come back for you another time!"**(A/N: Awful convenient earthquake ne? xD)** Sasori quickly started pouring the earth he had dug up back into where it had come from. Hidan kept on shouting profanities while Sasori and Kakuzu filled the hole back up. Neither of them wanted to really deal with Hidan at the moment. _Well, that was a surprise for sure. I just hope no one heard that…_

"Whatcha doing, un?"

"WAH!" Both Sasori and Kakuzu jumped in surprise. They had been so occupied with Hidan that neither of them noticed when Deidara had come up behind them. Deidara glanced from Sasori to Kakuzu and back again. He noticed the shovel in Sasori's hands and both of the missing nins seemed to bending over something.

"Danna? What's going on here, un?" the blonde asked

"Well…" Sasori started. Kakuzu cut in.

"What the hell were you thinking kid? Were you trying to give us a heart attack or something? We're simply trying to get money for the Akatsuki!" He shouted at Deidara. Deidara looked slightly confused and turned to say something to Sasori when suddenly they all sensed a lot more chakra presences gathering around.

_Damnit. Kakuzu and Hidan attracted too much attention. We have to leave now… Without both my puppet and the Jinchuuriki. Leader will not be pleased. _

Deidara made a clay bird and the three quickly gathered up whatever they had and got away. None of them wanted to deal with the Konoha ANBU so they simply headed back towards the Akatsuki base.

"Looks like we'll have to come back another time, un." Sasori rolled his eyes at the obvious statement but kept quiet. At least the brat had temporarily forgotten about the incident in the cemetery. He hoped it would stay that way.

* * *

"So the mission was a failure then?"

"Hai, Leader-sama. We failed to capture the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. Gomenasai" Sasori answered with his head down. Deidara stood beside him looking equally downcast.

"I see. You may go now."

"Hai."

Sasori and Deidara quickly left the room. Sasori was depressed. Not only had he failed the mission but he had also failed in acquiring his new puppet. Fate just didn't seem to be on his side lately. At least Deidara had stopped asking about the incident.

"So…you never did tell me what you were doing in the cemetery with Kakuzu, Sasori-danna, un."

Crap.

"Were you helping Kakuzu with some crazy bounty thing or something, un?"

The puppet master sighed. Deidara might as well know. After all, he didn't think he could come up with a really believable excuse and he didn't think this day could really get much worse…

"Well, I was trying to find the Yondaime Hokage's corpse so that I could make it into a puppet. But then Kakuzu came and I didn't want him to know so I started helping him look for that Asuma that he wanted for his bounty. But we found Hidan instead and well, that's when you came…"

"Oh, un."

Sasori waited for the blonde artist to say more but Deidara remained in silent thought. Finally he said

"Why didn't you just tell me before, un?"

"I didn't think it was really necessary…" Sasori started. Deidara just gave a slight nod. Just then, Tobi came running at them.

"DEIDARA-SENPAI! SASORI-SAN! YOU'RE BACK!" Tobi said and tried to glomp the two Akatsuki. Deidara and Sasori simply stepped aside and Tobi went crashing into the wall. Deidara suddenly smirked.

"Danna… If you're still looking for a new puppet for your collection I have an idea, un."

"Hm?"

Deidara smiled evilly.

"Oi, Tobi, un!"

Tobi came running back up to Deidara and Sasori but this time stopped before he could crash into them or something.

"Yessir! Tobi is a GOOD BOY!"

"Right, un. Well, how would you like to help Sasori-danna here make a new puppet, un?"

Sasori suddenly realized what Deidara was planning and started smirking as well. "Yes, Tobi. How would you like to help me with my latest project?"

"OH YES! Tobi would love to help Sasori-san make a new puppet because Tobi is a GOOD BOY!"

"Follow me then." Maybe Sasori would get his new puppet after all.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review and tell me what I can do better :3 Next time I'll upload more than just a oneshot! ^_^**

Japanese Reference(from what I know xP):  
Danna - Master  
San - Mr, Mrs, Miss, etc.  
Hai - Yes  
Gomenasai - Excuse me/I'm sorry  
Sama - Lord/Lady  
Yondaime - Fourth  
Oi - Hey  
Senpai - Senior


End file.
